Tech Humor

Best Tech Humors:

• 3 Engineers and Stalled Car

• Customized Blue Screen of Death

• A Cup Holder??

• Turned On By FileSystem..

• 3 Engineers and Stalled Car

Three engineers are riding in a car: an electrical engineer, a chemical engineer, and a Microsoft engineer. Suddenly the car stalls and stops by the side of the road.

The three engineers look at each other with bewilderment, wondering what could be wrong. The electrical engineer, not knowing much about mechanics, suggests, "Let's strip down the electronics of the car and try to trace where a fault might have occurred."

The chemical engineer, not knowing much about electronics, suggests, "Maybe the fuel has become emulsified and is causing a blockage somewhere in the system."

The Microsoft engineer suggests, "Why don't we close all the windows, get out, get back in, open the windows again, and maybe it will work." 

• Customized Blue Screen of Death

 Just received this and want to share it with you: 

In a surprise announcement today, Microsoft President Steve Ballmer revealed that the Redmond-based company will allow computer resellers and end-users to customize the appearance of the Blue Screen of Death (BSOD), the screen that displays when the Windows operating system crashes.

The move comes as the result of numerous focus groups and customer surveys done by Microsoft. Thousands of Microsoft customers were asked, "What do you spend the most time doing on your computer?"

A surprising number of respondents said, "Staring at a Blue Screen of Death." At 54 percent, it was the top answer, beating the second place answer "Downloading XXXScans" by an easy 12 points.

"We immediately recognized this as a great opportunity for ourselves, our channel partners, and especially our customers," explained the excited Ballmer to a room full of reporters.

Immense video displays were used to show images of the new customizable BSOD screen side-by-side with the older static version. Users can select from a collection of "BSOD Themes," allowing them to instead have a Mauve Screen of Death or even a Paisley Screen of Death. Graphics and multimedia content can now be incorporated into the screen, making the BSOD the perfect conduit for delivering product information and entertainment to Windows users.

The BSOD is by far the most recognized feature of the Windows operating system, and as a result, Microsoft has historically insisted on total control over its look and feel. This recent departure from that policy reflects Microsoft's recognition of the Windows desktop itself as the "ultimate information portal." By default, the new BSOD will be configured to show a random selection of Microsoft product information whenever the system crashes. Microsoft channel partners can negotiate with Microsoft for the right to customize the BSOD on systems they ship.

Major computer resellers such as Compaq, Gateway, and Dell are already lining up for premier placement on the new and improved BSOD.

Ballmer concluded by getting a dig in against the Open Source community. "This just goes to show that Microsoft continues to innovate at a much faster pace than open source. I have yet to see any evidence that Linux even has a BSOD, let alone a customizable one."

• A Cup Holder??

True story from a Novel Netware SysOp: 

caller: "Hello, Is this tech support ? " 

Tech: "Yes, It is. How may I help you ?" 

caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am withing my 

warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed ?" 

Tech: "Did you say a Cup holder ? " 

caller: "Yes ! it is attached to the front of my computer" 

Tech: "Please excuse me If I seem a bit stumped, It's because 

I am. Did you received this as part of a promotional, 

at a trade show ?" 

caller: "It came with my computer, I don't know anything about a 

promotional, It just has 4X on it." 

At this point the tech rep had to mute the caller because he couldn't stand it He was laughing too high. 

The caller had been Using the load drawer of CD-ROM drive as a cup holder and snapped it off the drive.

• Turned On By FileSystem..